question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
