You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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