Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize