Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
