I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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