All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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