I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Help me help you realize you are a moron
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
