he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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