He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
