She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
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I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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