party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
