my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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