so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it was like eating out sand paper
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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