I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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