I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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