it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
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he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
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I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you