Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
