Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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