Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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