she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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