drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
