Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
God, I missed his penis.
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