remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
