Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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