ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
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he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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