Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
