You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
