i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
