It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
