He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
