I love black thongs
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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