She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
