I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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