He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
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