we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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