OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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