when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
