Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
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