I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
