Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize