Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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