I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
