Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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