Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
