They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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