Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize