Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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