I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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