It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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