This girl is more easily done than said...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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