Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
