This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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