I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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