garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
