My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So. Much. Porn.
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