So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
