she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
