Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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