You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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