the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
