I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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