i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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