i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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